iswearillchange:

bloodypitofhorror:

“The Return of the Living Dead”

Looeyville Kentuckee

scvlptures:

depression is when you don’t really care about anything

anxiety is when you care too much about everything

and having both is just like what

geminispy:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

stridersquad:

richwhitelesbian:

we need some new and more powerful swears

do you ever just rub your eyes so hard that you just start entering some other fucking galaxy of swirls and patterns 

meladoodle:

*prosecuting lawyer voice* i have only one question for the defendant… ‘guiltypersonsayswhat?’
“what?” 
haha owned you’re going to jail

slenclerman:

reasons to date me:
-i can pick stuff up with my feet sometimes
-ive never killed a man (yet)
-i once got 95% on guitar hero
-you can play with my hair
-im cheaper than a puppy

the-fandoms-are-cool:

darrynek:

hey kid wanna see a magic trick *reaches behind your ear* ready? *rips your ear off* where’d it go

I’m so mad you didn’t say “where’d it van gogh?”

insanity-rain:

there’s all these picture of jack looking either really attractive or really badass when he’s really just

teenytigress:

SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

skankplissken:

my family almost started a fucking riot because we were playing a trivia game and the answer to ‘what’s scooby doo’s favorite food’ wasn’t ‘scooby snacks’ but ‘pizza’

theuntalentedsinger:

colfr:

so my parents just came home from the shops and told me that they got a new toilet seat

Yes those are dolphins and shells.

But wait until you open the fucking thing

Oh yes

my parents bought a LIGHT UP TOILET SEAT

I am so fucking done

at least you can pee in the middle of the night without turning on the bathroom light